Who The Fuck Is My D&D Character?

EDITION HISTORY

Since 2015, WHO THE FUCK IS MY D&D CHARACTER? has provided adventurers with everything needed to create a character backstory.

Occasionally the ancient machinery requires revision, rule changes are recorded below to prevent arguments.

2015 EDITION

THE ORIGINAL RULES

A small HTML, CSS and JavaScript character generator built using WTF Engine by Justin Windle.
WTF Engine was released under the MIT licence.

A novice wizard combined WTF headings, responses, adjectives, races, classes, locations and backstories into a process designed to answer the only question that truly mattered:

Who the fuck is my D&D character?

COMMUNITY CONTRIBUTIONS

Suggestions were regularly folded back into the generator, allowing the public to make an already chaotic system even bigger. Over time, this increasingly presented several problems:

• Some ideas were already contained within the generator
• Others only made sense to individual DMs and their personal adventuring parties
• Suspicious quantities of material attempted to wander in from entirely different universes

The gates were eventually closed in 2018.

The old link remains commented out in the HTML, in case it's ever decided the public can be trusted again.

EXTERNAL SUMMONINGS

Over four million adventurers arrived, with the ancient machinery capable of producing 1,108,598,400 possible character combinations for countless campaigns.

RECORDED SIGHTINGS

The ritual was observed in the wild by:

The Escapist, Kotaku, Laughing Squid, Nerdist, & Polygon.

COMMUNITY RITUALS

The generated characters were not always left to wander alone.

• 2015: Chuck Wendig's Terribleminds turned the results into a flash fiction challenge twice.
• 2015: Generated characters reached campaigns, including an Eberron adventure recorded by Sean Nittner.
• 2015: At Gen Con, Will Hindmarch and Jim Zub hosted a live improv D&D event built around randomly generated characters from the generator, with John Kovalic, Angela Webber, Lauren Roy and Sam Sykes.
• 2016: Here's Some Fuckin' D&D used the generator as its character creation engine, carrying the ritual into another tabletop game.
• 2018: Two generated characters became part of The Weekly Roll webcomic.
• 2019: Drawfee discovered the ancient machinery, turning generated characters into illustrations before returning for another ritual later that year.
• 2021: Ginny Di used generated characters as the foundation for a character creation challenge.
• 2016-2026: The generator became a recurring creative prompt engine, with artists continuing to use it for D&D-focused challenges including Inktober.

2026 REVISED EDITION

After more than a decade of questionable character generation, the now ancient wizard was awakened by Minty, who summoned it before the people and caused him to wonder what he'd update if he could...

The original site remains preserved and available for historical study.

The fundamental process of generating a random character and then immediately demanding another one remains unchanged.

AUGUST / SEXTILIS / WEODMONATH

MISSING COMPONENTS BANISHED

The rules now contain fewer instructions to fetch things from the void.

• Removed a broken request for /main.css and a forgotten request for /images/custom_icon.png

DIVINATION CESSATION

The generator no longer reports your decisions to a discontinued Google Analytics platform.

• Removed obsolete Universal Analytics using UA-58261368-1

ARCANE MUTTERINGS SILENCED

The engine has stopped muttering to itself.

• Removed a leftover console.log() from wtf.js

MESSENGER SERVICES REVOKED

Characters must now be inflicted on friends manually.

• Removed ancient Twitter sharing widget and the somehow more ancient Facebook Like iframe

CALLIGRAPHY REFINED

Cardo's summoning ritual has been revised.

• Replaced the old CSS @import with direct Google Fonts loading, preconnects and display=swap

COMMERCIAL ARRANGEMENTS DISCARDED

The generator is once again solely occupied with deciding what kind of character you should play.

• Removed the ancient and always inactive Google AdSense Auto Ads implementation

MOVEMENT SPEED INCREASED

Characters now arrive with greater urgency.

• Before restoration: Desktop 90 | Mobile 71
• After restoration: Desktop 99 | Mobile 91

ARCANE DIMENSIONS REVISED

The summoning ritual's proportions and interactivity have been enhanced for modern glowing rectangles.

• Rebalanced character layouts and stabilised controls for modern mobile and tablet displays
• Added a dedicated reroll button for adventurers who refuse to accept their fate
• Added the R key shortcut for those still possessing a physical keyboard

ILLUMINATION INTRODUCED

Adventurers may now exercise limited control over local lighting conditions.

• Added CAST DARKNESS and CAST LIGHT controls
• Chosen lighting conditions are remembered

DECORUM MADE AVAILABLE

The machinery may now be asked to watch its language.

• Added OW, MY FREAKING EARS and MY EARS HAVE RECOVERED controls
• Preferred level of profanity is remembered

RULES ERRATA

The tables have been revised to remove duplicate destinies, grammatical curses and suspicious geography.

• Added new species, adjectives, locations and backstory material to reflect D&D in 2026
• Corrected duplicate entries, grammar, spelling and terminology across the original tables
• Removed one universe-specific location that had slipped through the old submission gates
• 1,553,574,816 possible characters now contained